Senses

So it's been 18days since my baptism on Easter Sunday and I just wanted to have a small reflection. Baptism is a big step, a declaration and it's provided me a great opportunity to talk to people about myself that I normally wouldn't. I'm definitely more open about being Christian which has been something I've not been so good at in the past. The main difference I've noticed is a sense of calm and peace, a reassurance. I know I have God on my side, He's still providing me with strength and security that I wouldn't have in myself before. I've been pushing myself because I know He's got my back. And I love this feeling and I love this dedication I have made to God in my life. It's really helped me realise what is important and understand parts of who I am more.

On another note, I've been on my nursing placement for nearly two weeks now and it has been an incredible experience! I've been in a physical rehab ward with 20beds and such a variety in patients and opportunities I have really grown with my nursing. This placement is definitely more nursing orientated with skills and roles, with medications, wounds, paperwork, assessments etc, and we don't really do as many cares any more. Most of the girls are quite pleased with that, but I honestly miss it. I enjoy doing cares as it provides a time in the morning to talk with your patient and get to know their routine. However one thing I do really love about this placement in comparison to rest home work is you see the patients improve and progress and leave to go back home. That makes me happy, to know that from when they first came in, and with your assistance they are now independently able to go home and live how they used to. One of our criteria is to develop a care plan for one patient, and my patient is leaving tomorrow which is sad but I'm also glad to know that he's progressed enough to be fit to go home. I went and said goodbye to him tonight and it was funny thinking I hope I never see you again because I don't want you to become injured or unwell again. But I guess that's part of being a nurse, you assist where you can but it's a specific period of time in which you can interact with them.

One experience I've had on the ward was actually my first fainting. I was watching a DR put an IV cannula into a lady and I had been on my feet for ages, and then standing still whilst watching wasn't helping. At first it felt like there was water all through me and I could feel myself spinning a little but i just shuffled my feet and tried to get the blood moving. I leant over to look closer and then I woke up on the floor wedged between the bed and the beside table. I remember feeling like I was asleep and that it was all a dream, and because I was so exhausted I really didn't want to wake up and was really confused when it was the Dr and my partner in front of me. The main thing I felt after this was disappointment in myself because I felt weak, and pathetic especially since it wasn't even a gory sight, there was no blood at all. So it was mainly from exhaustion, but it was definitely an experience to remember.

Other things that have made my experience incredible have been small interactions with patients, small jokes, them asking for you, hearing their story and just a smile in return. I know it sounds cheesy but it's definitely the small things, and the patients that make nursing so awesome. You go home and am pleased by the day when one person smiled who normally doesn't, when one person was strong enough to take an extra few steps, when they are able to do something independently, as small as holding a fork, or washing their face. These small things make each day wonderful and make you look forward to going back. I know I look forward to seeing how some people progress and just continuing to talk to others, getting to know what they were like, what they love and just being there for them. I believe that is the core to nursing, is acknowledging the small things and recognizing the individualism and who they are.

Recently I have attended many baptisms and each time I've felt the pull to get baptized myself. I have considered it for years but for some reason never said yes. When my friend approached me about a baptism service on Easter Sunday I said yes even though I was about 10% certain. Baptism is a public declaration of your faith in God and there are many different opinions about it. I attend an Anglican church where infants are baptized as the parents dedication of their child to God and the start of their journey, but I grew up in a Baptist church where infants are not baptized. It is left to the older individual, when and if, they get baptized, hence my baptism at the age of 18.

I believe there is little requirement of baptism in your relationship with God, unlike other denominations where baptism is a step required in the journey. Baptism for me is an act of dedication that I can personally give to God, as well as an opportunity to share His love through the actual day with inviting friends who may not attend church but to come simply as my friend. It's not about the day itself, who turns up and who doesn't, but more about a step in my relationship, a commitment of my faith with God.

We were talking in a group, I've been attending for lent, about the reason we come to church. It is said that 80% of christian youth lose their faith when they attend university because of the freedoms and the priorities that change. These next few years are the most important in my life regarding my faith. This concerns me because I know my faults as I often put other things first such as an assignment that is due, rather than praying for a friend I know needs it. I also often don't feel like attending church, but instead go for the social element. We were talking about the importance to have God in our everyday lives, the holy of holy is everywhere, accessible. My faith is important to me, but a challenge to me personally is to really integrate my faith into my everyday approach, prayer, perspectives, behaviour.

The point of this post was about the idea I had for my baptism. I was talking to a friend about her baptism and her sister had chosen a song that they played for her, and I really liked that. B also told me how I should write some songs, and so I thought I could write a song specifically for my baptism. It's considerably harder than I thought but I'm really enjoying the process so far. B is great with music so that helps, and he'll help me record it. But for me to write the lyrics is really hard. I've never been good with words, especially when they matter and I don't trust myself and what I might say.

Until a night last week I was thinking about how it had to be perfect for me, my story, my testimony, but after talking to my friend Katja, she was saying how God doesn't want it to be perfect, He is pleased no matter how it compares to human standards. He is pleased by our hearts, not our results. This really helped me with comprehending the idea that my song is not really for myself, or the others who will hear it, but a means for me to talk to God and for Him to hear me. That's why I've started it by simply saying God please listen to my heart for the right words. Since saying that I've found it easier to write a few things but to be honest, it will never be good enough for me. But it will be more than enough for God and through this process I've really challenged myself with what I feel and love about my life with God.

Growth and Realization

At Church we have had many opportunities to be able to stand up and preach. My first sermon was on the 10 October 2010 and since then I have only spoken a short message since. I am very uncomfortable with public speaking but my reasoning for both times was that God had a message for me to say and to tell others, so I did.

My first sermon was about Trees. We had been studying the book of Matthew at the time and throughout, there were many links or metaphors established to trees. This was an easy one to establish but felt difficult to put across without thinking too far into each metaphor. The main message from this sermon was that the deeper you put your roots into the earth of Christ, the further you can spread your branches and produce good fruit. One section I have pulled out is talking about how a tiny seed, the smallest being the mustard seed grows into a mighty large tree and the link this has to our lives.

A tiny seed has so much potential, just like each and every one of us has a potential and a purpose in life, no matter how significant we may feel. It takes time to grow. Think; is a parent in the delivery room ashamed of the baby? Of course not, they are proud. They know that growth will come with time. So does God. With the support of God we can grow into a large tree, providing support to others and contributing to the world providing life.

From this I have then thought about where God has taken me in the past year and my growth. Although I am unable to see it, I feel different in good and bad ways. I have found that I am able to use my own initiative more, but whilst doing this and experiencing new things, I have also given up on some things that were important to me. One main one is helping with the younger children at church. I used to attend every week and assist, but as time went on and I had other commitments, this one has decreased more and more and I am beginning to miss it considerably. Another very important thing is with the new changes in my life, I have meet new friends, but in doing so, it has been hard to keep in the same contact with my old friends and I have felt the brunt of it many times this year which I regret. But through it all I have felt God guiding me and letting me learn my lessons to understand what is important in my life. I have mended some bridges and realized what I must prioritize. It has definitely not been the easiest of journeys but if you never fail, you can never learn to pull yourself back up again, and through it all God has guided. He brought people into my life and messages that have lifted me back up again and continued with life's ups and downs and my point of view on many things has changed.

Overall I don't really know what this post was about, if it was really anything or just a chance for me to finally put down in words what I've been feeling so that now I even understand it. Looking back now I have really come to realize how much God has helped me without realizing and reminds me that He is always there even when you feel most alone. God bless.

Gifts

Dancing has always been a massive part of my life, and from it, I have had many incredible opportunities and met wonderful people. Dancing is a form of expression, a way to create a world of your own. During my ballet exam, we had been encouraged to imagine a beautiful place and during practices, it had always been a garden. However the Sunday before my exam I was telling my church how I wish to dance for the Lord. This changed the beautiful garden I used to dance in into the Garden of Eden and it was an amazing experience.

Since then I have had to dance on stage a few times, and each experience was really special and I hope my dancing changes so I am dancing for the Lord each time. He is worth it and has given us all gifts that we can use to show off His wonders and praise Him.

Use your gifts for God's glory

Inspiration

To look and to see

What is inspiration? Where do we get our inspiration from? It is for something different or everyone, whether it is a song, a speech or a story, a picture, a garment, a new construction. Inspiration is an important aspect in our lives as it influences our thoughts and our creations. You could easily look at a child’s smile and be motivated for a new advertisement, look at birds sitting on power lines and receive the starting notes for a new musical masterpiece, listen and observe strangers on the street and create the plot for a new best selling novel.

But why do we need to search for inspiration? Why are we suddenly inspired after weeks of hard work? Why do we need to dig deeper than a simple sunset and instead find the new colour scheme for a successful fashion business? To look deeper than what meets the eye?

What are you looking at? What can you see?

We do not need a purpose to look for an inspiration, however we must become more aware of the significance and the natural wonders the world gives us, the adventures waiting to be sought and explored. We need to be more attentive to the minute details to our life and environment that change the whole view and overall success of a creation. Often observing people can inspire as there is life and mysteries hidden behind their faces. But more often we never reflect on ourselves. While inspiration can be personal, an evaluation of an event within your life, sometimes we need someone else’s perspective for us to realise who we really are and our significance to other people. We can use our own knowledge, experiences, and encounters with life to reflect upon. We ourselves are natural inspirations. It is often believed that our subconscious thoughts inspire us. That our childhood memories that are hidden from our memory, but express themselves in different ways. They resurface themselves from deep within, influencing our thoughts and actions. However it can be hard to look deep into yourself, as you are often scared with what you may or may not find out. This could be a cause that stops our true, innate feelings and thoughts to be expressed.

We look but do not see.

The world is not always what it appears as only a small part of it is really seen. It is very uncertain what lies underneath which inspire those who want to face that challenge and dig deep. Those are the people who want to make a difference in the world. They look at the world and at people from a different angle and see things many of us do not. They start to see the world as it really is, not how many people try and portray it to be. Do you want to become one of these people who really see the world, not just look, but see it for what it is beneath the mask that is thrown over our eyes? We do not always look beneath the top cover, below the surface of life. The world, people, colours, nature, what do these have in common? They are very different but each contain some motivation that could change what we know, what we live by.It could develop masterpieces like Shakespeare, DaVinci, Mozart who were influenced and inspired by life, creating immortal works. We can relate to these works and concepts as they express who we are as people. We all live life, and although we are all different, there are many characteristics we can all relate to. Human Nature.

See, do not just look.

So next time you look around where you work, the people you spend each day with, the expressions of nature, look deeper until you become more aware at the wonders surrounding you. Become more observant, aware, and attentive! A smile, a sunset, a drooping flower, a raindrop, anything can be yours if you just look for it!

Joy and Thankfulness

As you may or may not know, I am currently in a show at the moment and I was thinking the other day who I was doing it for.

My friend sent me a text during the week saying that although I’m generally exhausted, my joy needs to comes from God a it says in Nehemiah “don’t be dejected and sad for the joy of the Lord is your strength”. It’s important that I continue to drink up his Spirit, even if I sit for 5minutes and just wait on him, his joy will continue to strengthen us.

So I just wanted to remind everyone that no matter how stressed you are, how much we have on, and little time we have spare, if we rely on God, He will strengthen us and give us Joy. We must also do things for him. It says in Philippians 2:14 “Do everything without complaining or arguing” and I often think that one verse is a good reminder everyday life that the things you do are for God, and you must live out His joy. This is also said in Colossians saying “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people”.

The opposite of complaining is being thankful so often instead of complaining, you can think of the things you are grateful for. It also says in Philippians to always pray with a thankful heart. So I finish now by saying be joyful and live your life God’s way.

Mia's 1st Birthday!

This post will be different from my usual ones but its important. As it says on Bayla's blog, it was Mia's 1st Birthday on Saturday! She is such a big girl now!!! This blog is just posting some pictures that I took to show her special day!!! But are of Mia so should be shown to the world!

This is a picture of our (Bayla, Snusan and I) 

decorating the house like

 a rainbow!

Bayla beforehand

Mia's Friend Thomas

Mia's Friend Summer

Mia unwrapping presents!!

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Book! Cool!

Bayla's Present - my first kiwi - especially from Eketahuna!

Welshies Present - rainbow leg warmers.

Mia wearing our present! So cute!

A dolly! Her first!

Susan and Bayla watching her unwrap

Mia / Maz blowing out the candle

Mia and Summer playing together

Mia reading one of her cards. Notice she has a cup in her hand. 

She wouldn't put it down basically the whole time 

and Maz said she was likely to take it to bed with her as well!

Our adorable birthday girl! (she still has the cup)

So thats some pictures from Mia's Birthday party who is such an adorable 1year old!!!

Power

A few nights ago I was thinking of a book I read when I was very young but can't remember what it was called. The part I was thinking of was the little quirk between a father and daughter while the daughter was young. They used to have long conversations about super-heroes and what the best super power of all was. The father wanted Strength while the daughter wanted Super Speed. The only thing they both agreed on was that Flight was the best. This became their quirk between the two of them and would refer to it often as the daughter grew up. However, one day when the daughter was a teenager, the father did something that embarrassed her greatly. Trying to fix it up between them, he referred back to the small saying they had... "what power would you like?" Sadly she replied saying

 "Invisibility"

If you could have any power in the world what would you have? Would being able to be invisible be worth it or even being able to fly? Would super speed or strength help you in your day-to-day life in any way? Look what happened to Samson, he had the 'power' of strength but his weakness was found and used. Everyone has a strength or 'power' but it may not be extra-ordinary. It might be something that you're good at. A god-given gift. AND... everyone has a weakness... But we must use these gifts we've been given to the best of our ability and to help others the way Jesus used to. 

Go out into the world and use the super powers God gave you for what is right, even if it is opposite to what everyone is doing or is hard. "What you do for the least of my brothers you do for me" Go fly into the world with super strength and speed without the need for invisiblity

True Colours

Your true colours, are  beautiful 

like a rainbow

Imagine the world without any colour. You look out the window in the morning and see colourless grass and a colourless sky and God wouldn't of been able to promise with a rainbow because it would look plain and boring, not the wonders of colour that shine through a single droplet of rain. If you look around, colour is everywhere in the smallest of things. We are in a world where colour dominates our lives, from reading signs on the road to see if fruit is ripe and yummy to eat. It affects our moods - blue is calming, red can make us tense and hungry, orange expresses energy and enthusiasm. We use and experience colour everyday in our lives without even appreciating it. 

I found this song about colour and I thought I might share a few verses that I truly loved. The site link is www.imeem.com/ifankucel/blogs/2008/02/07/1AdAe5p8/can_i  if you want to go and read the whole song - i recommend it. The verse I like is the verse about grey:

Maybe I'll stick with pencil

Just a grey, ordinary pencil.

Who can I colour in with grey?

Grey is the colour between all the rest

Maybe I can find something to colour with grey

Something that won't go wrong.

Something that can feel everything and nothing at once

That's it!

Who can I colour in with grey?

I can colour the world.

These lyrics (I think they're lyrics anyway) made me realize what God must feel. He made all these colours for us to enjoy and express happiness and ourselves with but instead they have turned against Him and made our lives angry, conceited, envious, sad, empty and lonely. But we can easily change our world of grey back into the colour it is meant to be by thanking the Lord for His creativity that He put into the world He created for us. We can turn our world into one of love, laughter, relaxation, a dream, innocent, private by being positive and putting a smile on your face, to turn your world and other's back - to the colourful world that God created just for us!

Mmm....

Okay, you know chocolate: a food made from roasted ground cacao beans, creating a delicious sensation that melts in your mouth, the rich flavour soothing any bad feelings... Mmm........ The fate of chocolate has fallen into my fellow chocoholics out there, but I have a challenge. To go a WHOLE month without a single pinch of chocolate!!!!

BREATHE!! Get up, if you've fainted off your chair and listen. I just completed this challenge in one of the worst times - 3 week holidays!! The amount of things with chocolate in them shocked me. I couldn't have some of the simplest biscuits and ice-cream or muesli bars, I feel really sorry for those people out there who are allergic. The amount I did was July 2 -> August 2 because I ate chocolate on the 1st so I couldn't start then...

Whenever I was asked why I was doing this, my answer was because I felt like it but now I have a true confession. Part of the reason was because of the teasing I got about myself but also I actually found quite a lot about myself.  This challenge really made me think about how easy it is to fall into the temptations of the world today and how hard it is NOT to fall into them. Whenever I went into a supermarket (which is quite often), the chocolate was laid out in view for anyone and I actually realize how hard it must be for people how suffer from the more serious temptations. I challenge you to take something out of your life, however small it may be, and go a month, or two, without it. You'll find how strange it is to go past it everyday and feel yourself saying "Why not, you can have some when no-ones watching and n

o-one will know", but please don't fail, think of when the time is over and you can go back, eat that stash you've had hidden for a while, and feel good that YOU managed to last so long without it! 

Good Luck!

I must say that on the 2nd of August when I could actually have chocolate, I didn't actually feel like having any, I did however have a nice warm hot chocolate and then that night, I got out my stash and had a blast!! So go out there, find something, as small as no chocolate, 

as large as no tv or car, and challenge yourself to fight that temptation you have!! Once again, Good Luck!